The Naruto Horror Picture Show
by DNAyres
Summary: A merge between The Rocky Horror Picture show and Naruto. This is my first attempt and all reviews are asked for nicely.
1. The PartyDrive

_AN: There will be A LOT of OOC. This is supposed to be funny and stupid…This is what happens when you are bi-Polar and forget to take your meds at 3 o' clock in the morning. P.s. I do not own Naruto or the Rocky Horror Picture Show._

_Aburame Shino as The Narrator  
_

_Hyuuga Hinata_ _as Magenta_

_Hyuuga Neji as Riff-Raff_

_Hstske Kakashi as Dr. Frank-n-Furter_

_Haruno Sakura as Janet Weiss_

_Gaara as Brad Majors_

_Aburame Shino as Dr. Everett Von Scott_

_Temari as Columbia_

_And Uchiha Sasuke as Eddie_

**The Naruto Horror Picture Show**

Chapter One: The drive and the Party.

It was a dark and stormy night when our two love birds, Sakura and Gaara, are driving down a long road to meet up with their friend Shino to tell him about their Engagement. Little do they know about the events that are going to take place.

"Gaara, Are you sure that this is the right way?"

"Yes, Sakura just trust me."

_Sign reads Dead-End up ahead_.

"Well, it Looks like I must have taken a wrong turn back there. "He said as he threw the car in reverse. _'Bump.' Gaara gets out of the car in the downpour to check the car. "Damnit!" He yells as he kicks the tire and gets back in the car."Looks like we have a flat._ You'd better stay here, while I go for help."

"But Gaara where will you go we are in the middle of nowhere"

"Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles? Maybe they have a telephone I might use."Gaara says as he unbuckles his seatbelt.

"Well I am going with you" Says Sakura as she does the same."Besides the owner of the castle may be a beautiful woman and you may never come back."

Brad Laughs

They walk away from the car and head back up the road to the castle, which Gaara saw earlier, while covering their heads with a newspaper. After walking for a while they happen upon the entrance to the Castle. Gaara and Sakura make their way up to the castle door and knock.

Knock

"Gaara, I'm cold and scared. Let's just go back."

"Now now Sakura there's nothing to be afraid of I'm here, and besides they may have a telephone we may use."

The door opens. Throbbing music is heard in the background as if there is a party going on in the we see Hyuuga Neji emerge.

"Hello"Says Neji

"Uh - oh - Hi! My name is Garra. And this is my fiancee, Haruno Sakura. I um was wondering you see if we may use your telephone. Our car broke down about two miles up the road."Stammers a uneasy Gaara.

To wich Neji Retorts, "Your wet."

"Yes, it's raining you see." Replies Sakura

"Yes" Agrees Gaara

"Yes" Observes Neji

Outside a bolt of lightning flashes wich illuminates a row of vehicles parked by the seeing this is Neji sees this he says quickley."I think you had better both come inside."

Sakura Replises with a forced smile "You are too kind."

Neji leads themDown the hall towards a staircase.

The music grows louder.

Sakura wispers "Oh Gaara, I'm frightened. What kind of place is this?"

"It's just some hunting lodge for rich weirdos."Replies Gaara.

They arrive at a hallway at the bottom of the stairs. Another servant,Hinata, who bears a striking physical resemblance to Neji is vacuuming the stairs.

Neji says, "this way."

Sakura steps over the vacuum line. Then asks "Are you having a party?"

"No," Neji replies," You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the masters affaires. "Oh lucky him" Hinata Yells "He's lucky." Gaara and Sakura look at Hinata, surprised by her voice. Hinata Says" Your lucky! I'm lucky! We're all lucky!"

Time-Warp music starts

Gaara and Sakura are rather unnerved by this outburst from the domestic.

They look back to Neji. He is now standing by a set of mirrors

reflecting to infinity.

Neji: (singing)

'It's astounding

Time is fleeting

Madness takes its toll

But listen closely

Not for very much longer

I've got to keep control.'

Hinata then gives Neji a strange signal. Neji starts to dnace in an extraordinary fashion.

Neji: (singing)

'I rember doing the time-warp'

Garra and Sakura are amazed.

Neji: (Singing)

'Drinking those moments when The Blackness would hit me.'

Hinata half cloese her eyes in pleasure.

Sakuka clings to Gaara.

Neji:

'And the void would be calling'

Neji opens a set of double doors marked Ballroom. Gaara and Sakura find themselves on a balcony of a huge black and silver ballroom. At the furthest end is a throne-like chair and, surrounding it, a theatre proscenium. In the body of the room are guests. They are the people Gaara and Sakura passed on the road. They are the Transylvanian Secret Agents - assembled on this special occasion from all over the earth. It is the Annual Transylvanian Convention - announced by an official banner suspended over the Ballroom. They areall dressed in strange but elegant evening wear. A party spirit prevails, they throw their arms out in a plea to Neji on the balcony.

Guests:

'Let's do the time-warp again!'

Sakura falls into Gaara's is revives Sakura.

Guests

(repeating action)

'Let's do the Time Warp again!'

Sakura faints again.

Me!:

'It's just a jump to the left!'

Guests

(dancing)

'And a step to the right - right -

right - right - right.'

Me!:

'With you hands on your hips.'

ALL Guests have hands on hips.

Guests:

'You bring your knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust.'

The rows of GUESTS open out with pelvic thrusts.

Guests (Cont):

'They really drive you insane.'

We see them from the balcony and they open out in formation.

Guests (Cont):

'Let's do the Time Warp again.'

Sakura revives.

The Guests re-form.

Guests:

'Let's do the Time Warp again.'

Gaara and Sakura make a run out the door.

They collide with Hinata who has blocked off the corridor with her vacuum. She sings with menace,waving the cleaner hose dangerously.

Hinata:

'It's so dreamy

Oh, fantasy free me

So you can't see me

No not at all.'

Gaara and Sakura look at each other in alarm.

'In another dimension.

(she forces them back towards

balcony)

With voyeuristic intention.'

Garra blushes.

'Well secluded I see all

With a bit of a mind flip

You're into the time slip

Nothing will ever seem the same.'

They are back at the balcony.

'You're spaced out on sensation.'

They are at the edge of the balcony.

'Like you're under sedation.'

They force Gaara and Sakura into the Ballroom proper.

The Guests turn on them.

Guests

'Let's do the Time Warp again.'

Gaara and Sakura are completely dismayed.

Guests

'Let's do the Time Warp again.'

Temari, a young girl, is the household groupie. She sings with the

band at the end of the Ballroom.

Temari:

'Well I was walking down the street

Just having a think

When a snake of a guy

Gave me an evil wink.

Well it shook me up

It took me by surprise

He had a pick-up truck

And the devil's eyes

He stared at me

And I felt a change

Time meant nothing

Never would again.'

Guests:

'Let's do the Time Warp again.'

Gaara and Sakura are reeling.

Guests:

'Let's do the Time Warp again.'

Me!:

'It's just a jump to the left'

Guests:

'And then a step to the right.'

The Guests take one.

Me!:

'With your hands on your hips'

Guests:

'You bring your knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust.

That really drives you insane.

Let's do the Time Warp again.'

Everyone reverses direction.

'Let's do the Time Warp again.'

All the Guests fall to the floor like flies exhausted.

Sakura,"Oh...Say something."

Gaara"Say! Do any of you guys know the Madison?"

No one turn nasty.


	2. The meeting

Gaara and Sakura retreat to the hall. Behind them a lift slowly descends

bearing a figure in a black cloak and a diamante stiletto heel - beating

time to a rhythm the band has started playing.

Sakura pleads "Gaara, please lets get out of here."

"For God's sake keep a grip on yourself Sakura."

"But it seems so unhealthy here."

"It's just a..a party Sakura"

"Well I want to leave."

"We can't go anywhere until I get to a phone."

"Then ask the butler - or someone."

"Let's wait awhile Sakura. We don't want

interfere with their celebrations."

"This isn't the Junior Chamber of

Commerce Gaara."

"They're probably foreigners with ways

different from our own. -They may do some more folk dancing."

"Gaara - I'm cold, I'm wet, and just plain scared."

"I'm here, there's nothing to worry about."

The guests rise, staring mesmerised at the lift.

Sakura sees the shoe, looks up at the face of its owner.Sakura faints.

The figure turns and throws open lift cage door. Exits Hatake Kakashi.

Kakashi:

"How do you do-I see you've met my faithful handyman.

He's a little brought down -

Because when you knocked

He thought you were the candyman."

Neji scowls.

Kakashi:

'Don't get strung out by the way

that I look.'

Kakashi strides across the Ballroom to the throne.

Kakashi:

'Don't judge a book by its cover

I'm not much of a man

By the light of day

But by night I'm one hell of a lover.'

Sakura gives a silent scream.

Kakashi lets the cloak fall onto the throne, which reveals his

transvestite attire.

The Guests scream with delight.

Kakashi:

'I'm just a sweet Transvestite

From Transexual Transylvania.'

He slowly moves back to Gaara and Sakura, doing leg kicks.

'Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound

You look like you're both pretty groovie.'

He circles them and forces them into the Ballroom.

'Or if you want something visual

not too abysmal

We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.'

Gaara clumsily attempts to circle around Kakashi.Kakashi meanwhile ignores him and greets his other guests.

Garra:

'I'm glad we caught you at home

Ah - could we use your phone

We're both in a bit of a hurry.'

Sakura joins Garra.

Sakura:

'Right!'

Gaara:

;We'll just say where we are

Then go back to the car

We don't want to be any worry.;

Kakashi turns on them.

Kakashi:

'You got caught with a flat

Well how about that

Well babies don't you panic

By the light of the night

It'll seem alright

I'll get you a satanic mechanic.'

Kakashi turns his back on Garra and JSakura and splitting the ranks of his guests, departs for the other end of the Ballroom. Streamers fall.

Kakashi:

'I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transexual Transylvania.'

From the throne he gestures towards Gaara and Sakura rather slowly over the next verse.

Kakashi:

'Why dont'cha stay for the night'

Neji & Hinata

"night"

'Or maybe a bite'

Neji & Hinata

"bite"

'I could show you my favourite obsession

I've been making a man

With blonde hair and a tan

And he's good for relieving my tension.'

The guests surround him adoringly.

Kakashi:

'I'm just a sweet transvestite

From Transexual Transylvania.'

Kakashi storms down the Ballroom to the lift.

'I'm just a sweet transvestite.'

Guests:

"Sweet Transvestite"

Kakashi:

'From Transexual Transylvania.'

Guests:

"Transylvania"

Kakashi:

'So come up to the Lab.'

Kakashi: (Cont)

'And see what's on the slab.'

Kakashi: (cont)

'I see you shiver with antici---pation'

Kakashi: (cont)

'But maybe the rain---.Is really to blame---. So I'll remove the cause ,---but not the symptom!'

The guests applaud ecstatically.

Neji and Hinata close in on Gaara and Sakura. They remove Gaara and

Sakura's wet clothes.

Temari moves down from the bandstand and crosses to Gaara and Sakura.

She witnesses the undressing.

Temari smiling says,"Slowly, slowly. It's too nice a job

to rush."

The guests moan softly as each piece of clothing is removed.

Gaara and Sakura stand shivering in their underwear.

There is complete silence.

The guests and servents are motionless.

Gaara and Sakura are the total object of their attention.

Sakura wispers,"Oh Brad."

Gaara tells Sakura confidentially,"It's alright Sakura, we'll play alongfor now and pull out the aces when thetime is right."

He turns to Temari who has been staring at his underpants.

"Ah, hi. My name is Gaara andthis is my fiancee, Haruno Sakura. You

are...""

Temari says highly,"You are very lucky to be invited upto Frank's laboratory. Some peoplewould give their right arm for the privilege."

Neji has opened the cage doors to the lift.The gusts rush for positions.

Gaara retorts,"People like you maybe"

"I've seen it."

Temari escorts them to the lift.

Neji throws two guests to the floor to make room for them.He slams the cage door.The two discarded guests cry and claw at the cage door as the lift moves off under Neji's control.Gaara and Sakura are squashed, arms by their side. They stare straight ahead.

Sakura a bit unnerved by the scilence asks Hinata,"Is he - Kakashi - is he your husband?"

General amusement.

Neji replies a bit annoyed,"The Master is not yet married. Nor do I think he ever will be. We are simply his servants."

"Oh."

The lift grinds to a halt.They have arrived at the laboratory.

A/N: Ummm…Here I will stop to see what you , The readers, Think. Please review.


	3. Now! The Lab!

A/N:I forgot about the star!!!(Stupid Stupid!!!!) Uzumaki Naruto as Rocky.

The laboratory is somewhere between a student observation operating

theatre and a Greek gymnasium. It is pink-tiled throughout, facing the

lift entrance is a circular area containing a tank on pedestalsthe wall to one side contains a raised dias area for the guests, and facing one end of the tank, the operational controls, monitor and a giant refrigerator. A chandelier hangs above the tank.

On the podium in front of Kakashi's chambers there is a stand microphone.

Near the podium are some weights. Behind the tank is a vaulting horse.

These are wrapped in sellophane - Naruto's presents.

The guests are waiting as the lift arrives.Kakashi, now in surgeon's outfit stands in the middle of the room. Neji gets out of the lift first, with a glass of champagne which hehands to Kakashi.

Kakashi "Hinata, Temari, go and assist Neji."

As he speaks her name each one steps forward out of the lift. They

cross to Neji behind the tank.

Kakashi says with a smile playing on his lips,"I will entertain...ah..."

Gaara& Sakura step out of the lift.

"I'm Gaara and this is my fiancee, Hardno Sakura.

Sakura retorts angrly," Haruno."

Gaara repets, "Haruno."

Kakashi says while taking Sakura's hand to kiss,"Encante...How nice." he circles them. "And what charming underclothes you both have."He takes two dust coats from Neji and hands them to Gaara.But here, put these on. They'll make you feel less---vulnerable.

Hinata & Temari cross to the podium.

Kakashi continues,"It's not often we receive visitors here.

Let alone offer them hospitality."

Gaara replies hotley,"Hospitality! All we wanted to do was use your telephone. A reasonable request which you have chosen to ignore."

Sakura says hurrlidy,"Don't be ungrateful Gaara."

Gaara stepping closer to Kakashi yeels,"Ungrateful!"

The room falls silent. All eyes are on Kakashi, waiting for his reaction. A smile breaks on his face as he replies,"How forceful you are Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So dominant."

Hinata & Temari laugh.

"You must be awfully proud of him Janet."

"Well, yes I am."

The guests "oh" and "ah" appreciatively, While Gaara laughs, a little embarassed.

"Do you have any tattoos Gaara."He asks.

"Certainly not!"

"Oh well. How about you." (He laughs)

Neji has approached behind Kakashi, looming over his shoulder.

Neji,"Everything is in readiness, Master.

We merely await your word."

Kakashi drinks his champagne then hands Neji the empty glass. Neji

goes to the control panel and Kakashi to the podium

Kakashi starts out by saying,"Tonight...One, one, one. Can you hear the at the back? Tonight, my unconventional conventionists."

Hinata, Temari and guests laugh politely.

"Tonight you are to witness a breakthrough

in biochemical research."

There is a gasp from Temari, Hinata and the guests.

"And paradise is to be mine."

Guests and everybody applaud. Sakura claps too, but Gaara indicates that she shouldn't.

"It was strange the way it happened.One of those quirks of fate really. One of those moments when you seem irredeemably lost: you panic; you're trapped; your back's against the wall.There's no way out, and then suddenly, you get a break."He cracks the bones in his hand "All the pieces seem to fit into place. What a sucker you've been. What a fool. The answer was there all the time. It took a small accident to make it happen. An accident!"

Hinata & Temari step forward one each side of him.

Hinata and Temari wisper softly,"An accident."

"That's how I discovered the secret.That elusive ingredient, that spark that is the breath of life."

The guests applaud.

Kakashi steps toward the tank,"You see, Brad and Janet, you are fortunate.For tonight is the night that my beautiful creature is destined to be born."

Everybody applauds. Kakashi then pulls the cover from the tank. Neji

is standing at the control panel. The tank is revealed. There is something inside it is immersed in clear fluid. The guests are astonished.

"Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator."

Neji flicks the switch to activate the oscilloscopes in the panel.

"And step up the reactor power input three more points."

Neji presses a button three times then begins to unwind a wheel.

Kakasi watches excitedly from behind the tank as the chandelier is

lowered. It spurts different coloured liquids into the tank.The liquids bubble and change colour. The thing inside begins to look

like a human form.

Sakure wispers while clutching onto Gaara,"Gaara..."

"It's alright Sakura." Gaara reassures her.

The liquids drain away. The Neji the other.Uzumaki Naruto sits up, raises his arms, finally stands upright with both arms outstretched.

Neji removes the bandage from Naruto's head. Naruto looks at Neji then at Kakashi. With a gasp he leaps for the chandelier above. At the same time Neji is down the ladder making for the handle. He winds up the chandelier and Naruto.

Naruto with only his head unbandaged, is hanging on to the

chandelier which Neji is winding upwards.

Naruto:

'The Sword of Damocles is

Hanging over my head.'

Kakashi runs down the ladder and kicks Neji who starts to lower the

chandelier. Kakashi climbs up the other steps to meet his creation coming down. Hinata & Temari cross to the tank.

Naruto:

'And I've got the feeling

Someone's going to be

Cutting the thread.

Oh, woe is me.

My life is a misery.

Oh, can't you see

That I'm at the start

Of a pretty big downer...'

As ROCKY gets level with him, FRANK lunges for him but lands inside the tank...because...Naruto simultaneously abandons the chandelier, lands between Hinata and Temari who now each have a pair of scissors with which they will snip his arm and leg bandages.

Naruto:

'I woke up this morning

With a start

When I fell out of bed.'

All:

'That ain't no crime.'

Naruto:

'And left from my dreaming

Was a feeling

Of un-nameable dread.'

All:

'That ain't no crime'

Naruto:

'My high is low.

I'm dressed up

With no place to go.

And all I know

Is I'm at the start

Of a pretty big downer.'

Kakashi, in the tank behind Naruto, puts his arms round Naruto's neck.

Naruto spins away. Hinata and Temari hang on to one end of his chest

bandage so that it undoes as he goes.

All:

'Sha la la la

That ain't no crime.'

'Oh, no no, no no.'

'Sha la la la

That ain't no crime.'

'No no no, no no.'

'Sha la la la

That ain't no crime -

That ain't no crime.'

Naruto is now unbandaged. He strikes a pose. Kakashi climbs out of the tank onto Neji's shoulders and purses Naruto, but they fall.While Kakashi and Neji are recovering from their fall Naruto makes a circuit of the guests.

All:

'That ain't no crime.

'The sword of Damocles is

Hanging over my head.'

'That ain't no crime.'

'And I've got the feeling

Someone's going to be

Cutting the thread.'

'That ain't no crime.'

'Oh, woe is me -

My life is a mystery.

Oh can't you see

That I'm at the start

Of a pretty big downer.'

Naruto set off at a run as Kakashi looms up again.

'Sha la la la

That ain't no crime.'

'Oh no no no no.'

'Sha la la la

That ain't no crime.'

'No no no no.'

'Sha la la la

That ain't no crime.

That ain't no crime.'

'Sha la la la

That ain't no crime.'

'No no no no.'

'Sha la la la

That ain't no crime.'

'No no no no.'

'Sha la la la

That ain't no crime -

That ain't no crime.'

At the end of this number, Naruto has climbed up the ladder attached to the end of the tank nearest the bridal chambers and Kakashi is in a heap below. Neji is behind the tank and Hinata and TEmari in their positions in front of it.


	4. You know winkwink

Kakashi picks himself up. Naruto is sitting at the top of the ladder above him, with his perfect limbs near Kakashi's face.

Kakashi says in an angry voice,"Well. That's no way to behave on your first day out."

Naruto looks hurt.

But as you're such anexceptional beauty I'mprepared to forgive you.

Kakashi crosses behind Naruto to stand next to Neji behind the tank.

"I just love success."

Neji replies"He is a credit to yourgenius, Master."

"Yes."

Hinata agrees,"A triumph of your vill."

"Yes."

Temari retorts,"He's o.k."

Kakashi fuming yeels,"O.K?"moving toward Sakure and Gaara. "I think we can do a little better than that."Adressing Sakura"You. What do you think?"

Sakura looking at Gaara replies,"Well. I don't like men with...er, with too many, muscles."

"I didn't make him for you"

Sakura nods hastily. Kakashi moves towards microphone.

"He carries the Charles Atlas seal of approval...And he didn't even take the lessons." Retorted Kakashi in a huff.

As Kakashi starts to sing, Hinata and Neji collect one of Naruto's

presents, the vaulting horse, and place it in front of the podium.

Temari leads Naruto down from the ladder.

Kakashi:

'A weakling weighing

Ninety eight pounds

Will get sand in his face

When kicked to the ground.

And soon in the gym (Naruto sits on horse)

With a determined chin

The sweat from his pores

As he works for his ca-ha-hause'

Hinata adnNeji now bring the weights.

'Will make him glisten - thank you -

And gleam.

And with massage

And just a little bit of

Ste-he-he-he-hem...(laughs)

He'll be pink.

And quite clean.

He'll be a strong man -

Oh honey –'

Guests, Neji, Hinata, Temari, And Kakashi

'But the wrong man.'

Kakashi:

H'e'll eat nutritious high protein

And swallow raw eggs.

Try to build up his shoulders,

His chest, arms and legs.

Such an effort -

If he only knew of my plan.

In just seven days,

Guests, Neji, Hinata, Temari, And Kakashi

'I can make you a ma-aa-a-a-an'

Naruto throws down the weights and begins press ups.

Kakashi:

'He'll do press-ups and chin-ups,

Do the snatch, clean and jerk.'

Kakashi crosses to JSakura & Gaara

'He thinks dynamic tension

Must be hard work.

Such strenuous living

I just don't understand.'

Kakashi moves back to Naruto who is still pressing up.

'When, in just seven days -

Oh baby...(Naruto jumps up.)

I can make you

A ma-a-a-a-an...(laugh).'

The large refrigeration unit door slowly opens, falling like a

drawbridge. Inside is a wall of ice and many CocaCola bottles.

Through these bursts an icy Sakuke riding a Harley Davidson motor bike, ex World War II, holding a Gibson guitar.

Several guests are crushed to death.

Temari screames with delight,"Eddie!"

Sasuke replies,"Stay cool baby."

Sakura askes innocently,"Who's Sasuke?"

Neji scoffs,"The delivery boy."

Hinata adds," His delivery wasn't good enough though.""

Naruto looks terrified. Sakura has fainted yet again. Sasuke comes to life.

Sasuke:

'Whatever happened to Saturday night

When you dressed up sharp

And you felt alright

It don't seem the same since cosmic light

Came into my life and I thought I was divine.'

Temari leaps on to the pillion seat.

'I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go

And listen to the music on the radio.'

The Motorcyclist guests remember only too well.

'A saxophone was blowing on a rock and roll show

And we climbed in the back

And we really had a good time'

Temari rushes to the switchboard, flicks a lighting switch and all the

lights above the stairs start changing color.

The guests go crazy and rock and roll all over the staircase.

Temari dances with Sasuke.

Even Neji and Hinata step it out.

ALL:

'Hot patootie

Bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootie

Bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootie

Bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootie

Bless my soul

I really love that rock and roll.'

Sasuke (more confident, less frozen) leaps onto the motorbike in a legs apart guitar strumming pose.Kakashi is getting furious.Naruto is perplexed.

Sasuke:

'My head used to swim

From the perfume I smelled.

My hands kind of fumbled

With her white plastic belt.

I'd taster her baby pink lipstick,

And that's when I'd melt.

And she'd whisper in my ear,

Tonight she really was mine.

Get back in front and put

Some hair oil on.

Buddy Holly was singing

His very last song.

With your arms around your girl

You tried to - ah - sing along

It felt pretty good, whoo.

Really had a good ti-i-ime.'

sasuke slips onto the pedal starting the bike. He takes off and roars

round the laboratory, even riding up and down the walls.

ALL:

'Hot patootie

Bless my soul.

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootie

Bless my soul.

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootie

Bless my soul.

You know I love that rock and roll.

Hot patootie

Bless my soul.

I really love that rock and roll.'

Sax Solo!!

Kakashi steals towards the fridge where he collects an ice pick,

innocently.

ALL:Sasuke:

'Hot patootie'HOT PATOOTIE -

Bless my soul.BLESS MY SO-O-OUL.

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootieHOT PATOOTIE

Bless my soul.I LOVE THAT ROCK & ROLL.

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootieHOT PATOOTIE...

Bless my soul.I LOVE THAT ROCK & ROLL.

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootieHOT PATOOTIE...

Bless my soul.BLESS MY SO-O-OUL.

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootieHOT PATOOTIE..

Bless my soul.I REALLY LOVE THAT ROCK & ROLL.

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootieHOT PATOOTIE...

Bless my soul.BLESS MY SO-O-OOOUUL.

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootieHOT PATOOTIE

Bless my soul.I LOVE THAT ROCK & ROLL.

I really love that rock and roll.

Hot patootieHOT PATOOTIE

Bless my soul.I LOVE-A-LOVE-A-LOVE-A

I really love that rock and roll.

THAT ROCK AND ROO-AHOUL!'

On the last chorus Kakashi rushes to Sasuke with the ice pick, in a

demented fury. The guests are unbelieving. Temari covers her face with her hands. Sasuke is dead. Kakashi walks away from his body unconcerned. Sakura screams and screams.

Hinata is very bored and picking up ice cubes and placing them in the

ice bucket.

Kakashi says codley," One from the vaults."

Neji drags Sasuke's dismembered body back into the fridge.

"And so perish all those who reject my love!"

Naruto cowers in terror.

"Oh no, my little Adonis -

You're much too beautiful to be destroyed.

He had a certain naive charm - but no muscle."

Naruto flexes. Kakashi is thrilled.

Kakashi:

'But a deltoid

And a bicep,

A hot groin

And a tricep

Makes me - ooh -

Shake.

Makes me want

To take

Charles Atlas

By the ha-and.

In just seven days -

Oh baby –'

Guests, Neji, Hinata, Temari,& Kakashi

"I can make you a Ma-ha-ha-ha-haan."

'I don't want no dissension

Just dynamic tension.

In just seven days

I can make you

A ma-ha-ha-ha-haan.

In just seven days

I can make you

A ma-ha-ha-ha-haaan.'

Neji presses a button and a wall opens revealing a bridal suite

done out in black silk. The Guest shout their approval. The end of the SONG turns into Mendelssohn's wedding march and Kakashi leads Naruto to his bridal chamber. The guests throw confetti. Gaara and Sakura look at each other in amazement.


	5. In which is containedLEMONS!

_A/N: This may be the last update on this story...SOrry it took so long..._

Neji: "There are some people who say that life is an illusion, and that reality is simply a figment of our imaginations…If this is so, then Garaa and Sakura are quite safe. However, the sudden departure of their host and his creation (into the seclusion of his somber bridal suite) had left them feeling both apprehensive and uneasy. A feeling which grew as the other guests departed and they were shown to their separate rooms."

Meanwhile in Sakura's Room…

Sakura is sitting on the bottom of the bed looking quite tired and lost. Wondering what Garaa has gotten them into this time.

While in Garaa's Room…

Garaa walks slowly around the room examining everything. "Damn it. Why could I not have just waited in the car like a normal person, but no! I had to go and land us in this mess. And where's Sakura…"

Garaa slowly makes his way over to the T.V. screen in the corner

Neji and Hinata are sitting in the master contro0l room switching from channel to channel. One channel shows Garaa looking into the monitor. Another Sakura sitting on the edge of the bed, she then gets up and lies down on the bed and switches off the bedside lamp. Neji and Hinata look at each other and smile evilly as they hear a knock at the door.

Sakura jerks up and shouts, "Who is it? Who's there?"

She hears Garaa's voice from behind the door, "It's only me Sakura." She relaxes and says, "Oh, Garaa, Come in, darling." The door opens and she sees a silhouette enter and cross over to her bed. It pulls the net curtain covering the bed away and sits next to Sakura, and they start kissing and his hands snake over her breasts.

Sakura moans, "Oh Garaa…Mmmm…Oh yes, my darling…but wait, what if…" Garaa stops her by placing a finger over her lips. "It's alright Sakura. Everything's going to be alright."

"Oh, I hope so my darling but let me switch on the light."

"No!" Shouts Garaa, "No, Don't do that."

"Oh don't be shy Garaa." She says as she reaches over to turn the light on. As she switched on the light, she sees none other than Kakashi!

"YOU!" she screams.

Kakashi smiles as he sits up and says, "I'm afraid so, Sakura…But Isn't it nice?"

Sakura beats his chest with her fists and yells, "You beast, you MONSTER, what have you done with Garaa?"

To which Kakashi lazily replies with a sheepish smile, "Nothing. Why, DO you think I should?"

Sakura, almost in tears, replies, "You tricked me…I wouldn't have…I've never…never…"

"I know," Kakashi sweetly replies, "But It wasn't all bad now was it? In fact I think you found it quite pleasurable." Then caressing her again he moans, "Mmmm so soft, and so sensual." He whispers as he lays her back onto the bed and slowly starts kissing his way down all the while slowly pulling down her dressing gown. All the while Sakura is sitting there moaning, "Oh, yes I mean No! Stop… I mean help…I…Mmmm…Garaa…Oh… GARRA!" Kakashi gently places his finger on her lips and whispers in her ear while blowing into it, "Ssssh. Garaa's probably asleep by now. Do you want his to see you like THIS?" He says as he places himself between her legs.

"Like this!" She screams, "Like Hell! It is your fault. You're to blame…I was saving myself."

Kakashi grins, switches off the light and says, "Well, I'm sure you're not spent yet."Then he slowly pulls off her soaking wet panties and rubs them on his rock hard cock, while staring deeply into her eyes. Sakura shudders in pleasure from the display wishing desperately to change places with the underwear. Kakashi throws the panties aside for later and places the head of his member at the very apex of her entrance and leans close to give her a kiss. As they are kissing passionately, he slowly inches his member forward until he reaches her hymn. Then he breaks the kiss while looking in her eyes for approval.

In the laboratory Neji and Hinata, smile as they watch the screen.

"Go ahead, Kakashi." She moans as he bites her neck and thrusts forward. Setting his cock as deep as possible, while the tip of his cock resting on her cervix. He looks up to make sure he has not hurt her too badly, and he sees a single tear run down her cheek. He reaches up to capture the salty tear and licks the tear off his finger and she chuckles making him moan as her walls clench his member.

He leans in again to resume their kissing and he slowly starts thrusting, letting her get used to the feel of him filling her. Something she had never felt before. She starts rotating her hips in rhythm with his thrusting and he picks up speed. Thrusting into her with his throbbing hard cock harder, faster, and deeper each time he hits bottom. Both going faster and faster, never once breaking the kiss. Then they fill the coiling of heat in their stomachs growing tighter and tighter until they cannot take it anymore. Then they start thrusting and grinding wildly each trying to get their own orgasm until both are sweating and panting. Then with a scream Sakura cums digging her nails into Kakashi's back and the pulsating of Sakura's pussy is too much and Kakashi cums as well. Both lay there sweating and panting.

"Promise you won't tell Garaa?" Sakura manages between heavy breaths.

Kakashi smiles and kisses her on the forehead and says, "Cross my heart and hope to die." To which Sakura squeals in excitement.

Then in the bridal chamber, Naruto chained to the bed sleeping while Neji and Hinata are in the laboratory. Naruto starts to wake up and Neji walks across to the door of the chamber and stares at Naruto, his eyes hard and full of hate. He smiles and looks towards Hinata, she smiles and nods towards him. He releases the chains on Naruto. Naruto hearing the chains stirs and sleeplessly looks to Neji as Neji picks up a candelabrum from the table beside the bed and taunts Naruto. Naruto, seeing the chains untied jumps out of the bed, runs through the laboratory, and escapes onto the castle grounds. Neji slowly puts the candelabrum back on the table and turns to Hinata who is now standing in the doorway and moves close to her and they laugh.

Back in Gaara's chamber there is a knock at the door. Gaara walks over to the door and opens it cautiously, and then a shadowy figure moves quickly across the room and sits on the bed.

Sakura says in a distraught voice," Oh Gaara, it's no good here. I am afraid that it will destroy us."Sakura breaks down in tears and then Gaara takes her hand, "Don't worry Sakura; we'll be away from here in the morning. Hmmm, you smell so good." He says softly as he lays her down on the bed and attempts to caress her. "Oh Garaa. Oh no. Not until after the wedding, Darling." She moans as she sits up. "Alright, Sakura, I understand," he says as he sits up as well. Sakura rolls over on top of Gaara.

"Maybe we could try it this way?" Sakura says sultry. To which a surprised Gaara says, "Sakura! Oh! Yes, it is alright. Sakura Everything is going to be all right." As they start making love Sakura moans, "I hope so my darling."

Then Gaara reaches out to turn the light on." No!" Sakura pleads, "Don't put on the l…"Gaara switches on the light and realizes that he is really making love to Kakashi wearing a wig to look like Sakura.

"YOU!" Gaara shouts as he pulls out and away from Kakashi."I'm afraid so, Gaara. But wasn't it nice?" As Kakashi purrs, Gaara grabs Kakashi by the throat. "Why you…Wait what have you done with Sakura?"

"Nothing Gaara," Kakashi says, as he smiles, "Why do you think I should?"Brad lets go of Kakashi's throat and turns away in humiliation. "You tricked me. I wouldn't have…I've never…never…"

"I know," Sooths Kakashi, "But it wasn't all bad was it?" He continues as he kisses his way down Gaara. "In fact, I think you found it quite pleasurable." He moans as he caresses Gaara's Harding member. "So soft. So sensual."

"Ahhh…No…Mmmm…Stop…I mean Sakura." Gaara moans as Kakashi's hot mouth captures his throbbing member. "Sakura!" He shouts in desperation. "Hush now," says Kakashi, "Sakura's probably asleep by now." Kakashi grins as he presses himself unto Gaara, "Do you want her to see you like this?"

Gaara quickly pulls himself away from Kakashi and yells. "Like this? Like Hell! It's your fault…You're to blame. I-I-I thought you were the real thing…"

"Oh come on, Gaara, admit it. It was enjoyable, wasn't it?" Kakashi smirks seeing Gaara's defense falling, "There's no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure." Kakashi reaches over to the light, looks over to Gaara, and turns off the light. "Oh Gaara, you have wasted so much time already. Sakura need not know. I will not tell her." Kakashi reassures Gaara.

Gaara looks deep into Kakashi's eyes, "You promise you won't tell?"

Kakashi smiles, "On my mother's grave." Kakashi leans back down and brings Gaara's member into his mouth running him tongue over the head of Gaara's throbbing erection slowly taking more and more of Gaara into his mouth. Slowly sucking more and more of Gaara all the while running his tongue around Gaara, Allowing the hard member to go deeper and deeper into his throat sucking hard and fast almost bringing Gaara over the edge, then just before Gaara cums Kakashi let's Gaara's cock plop out of his mouth. Then Kakashi leans down reaching under the bed until he finds a bottle of lube and smears in onto Gaara's entrance and over his own hard cock, then he places it back where he found it. He aligns himself at Gaara's entrance, looking at Gaara for permission. Kakashi leans down kissing Gaara as he thrusts forward into Gaara, and slowly starts thrusting in and out going faster and faster pressing himself close to Gaara while Gaara's cock is trapped between there madly thrusting bodies. Closer and closer to climax making both grunt and moan in pleasure until it is almost unbearable.

Neji's head appears on a screen above the bed and says, "Master, Naruto has broken his chains and vanished. The new playmate is loose on the castle ground. Hinata has just released the dogs."

Kakashi barely hears the message as with a final grunt the walls of Gaara's ass grip his member, while Gaara's sperm is shot all over the bed and walls and Kakashi yells, "I'm Coming!" As he cums overfilling Gaara, then collapsing spent. Kakashi then gets out of the bed, grabs his robe and walks out of the room, leaving a exhausted and equally spent Gaara in his wake.


End file.
